Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once, I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. 



This isn’t one of those progressive schools where teachers are called by their first names and students are partners in learning and there’s a fundraising auction at the end of the year where the more creative parents put on musical skits about the community garden. This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.